


50 Shades of Fail

by Snowchildhero (wolfishscribbles)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Domination, F/M, Fail sex, Rope Bondage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:38:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfishscribbles/pseuds/Snowchildhero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabble. Aranea and Cronus attempt to have some kinky fun. They fail miserably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	50 Shades of Fail

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Squigglenaut](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Squigglenaut).



> This was a gift drabble for squigglenaut@tumblr, after we discussed how hilarious it might be if Aranea and Cronus attempted bondage and domination play....and failed horrifically. THE POINT OF THIS IS TO BE HUMOROUS, *NOT* TO BE ACTUALLY KINKY. I'm a bit nervous about posting it, but it made the receiver of the fic laughed, so...here is hoping you get a few chuckles, dear reader!

“I read all about this in a book once! So do try and relax, Cronus, and hold still!” Aranea's voice was sickeningly cheerful as she began to tie his arms and legs to the chair, clearly attempting some kind of fancy sailor's knot with the blue ropes in her hand. Cronus would have been made more uncomfortable by this, except for the fact that Aranea's ample bosom was rather distracting in the tight blue corset she had on.

“Whatever you say, kitten, and did I mention that you really are the cat's meow in that outfit? The leather gloves and thigh high boots are most becoming on you.” He grinned up at her slyly, and she blushed a bit, before her lips melted into a pout.

“Cronus! If we're going to do this right, you need to call me mistress! And you can't just speak out of turn, you have to wait until I give you permission first! Or else...”

“Or else what, doll face? I mean, my smoking hot mistress!” At the response, Aranea frowned, and took out a whip. She did her best to look menacing, as she leaned in close to his face.

“Or else, peasant, you may regret it!”

“Pssst, Ara, I don't think peasant really sounds right for this.” Cronus said in a whispered voice. “Maybe try 'love slave'. Or 'slave of the flesh'. It sounds more sensual.”

“Oh! Right! Good point! Yes, my slave of the flesh, you will regret it more than anything you have ever regretted in all your sweeps of living!” As if to make her point, she cracked the whip, but found it made a much louder crack than she was expecting. Her high pitched shriek filled the room. She dropped the whip as if it were a snake, and then shook her head, as if trying to regain her composure.

“Ahem, as I was saying. You will regret it.” With a dramatic flourish, she pulled her breasts from the top of the corset, which had already been looking ready to spill out. “I want you to suck my breasts-”

“Pssst, Ara, 'Command' you to suck my breasts.”

“Ah, yes. Command you to suck my breasts. And if you don't do what I say, I will suffocate you with them!”

“Psssst....you should really use the word 'obey', it sounds really domineering and sexy-”

“CRONUS, WHO READ MORE OF THESE BOOKS, HUH?” That one shouted sentence was probably more domineering than anything she had said so far. It succeeded in shutting him up, where all else had failed. “Now you had better obey me gog damn it or so help me I WILL suffocate you! Ahem!” Clearing her throat, she put one stilettoed boot on the chair, and leaned over, her breasts nearing Cronus's face....

...Only to have her lose her balance on the tiny point of the heel, and tumble over right into him, knocking the chair to the floor. Cronus did almost have her threat made real – her sternum connected with his scarred forehead so hard in the fall that, along with being tied up, it was damn near impossible to get her chest out of his face. Aranea had twisted her ankle, and it took her a few moments before she could pull herself off of him.

“Um...Cronus...” She began sheepishly.  
“....yeah?” was the best response he could muster as the air found its way back into his undead lungs.

“Maybe we should just, uh...give this bondage S&M thing a break for now, all right?” She was blushing and attempting to pull off the offending boot, her breasts still dangling out in the open. Unfortunately, he was in no condition to enjoy them or even to help.

“Kitten, I think that's a great idea.” he muttered, before flopping back over on the chair, eyes closed, glad his matesprit would have a kind enough blood pusher to untie him before anyone else could see.

The End.


End file.
